Jeepers Creepers

How do you start a post when it's been MONTHS since your last one? Just like that, I guess.
So, my man has been out of town since Sunday and it's been especially rough, for some reason. He and I have spent a fairly massive amount of our married lives apart, so you'd think a week would be no biggie, but it kind of has been. You know the saying, "When it rains, it pours"? Well, Monday it really poured. I had serious "mommy meltdown", but thankfully it only lasted a day. Unfortunately, S.J. will probably remember it until he dies. So I'll probably spend the rest of my life apologizing for my incredibly imperfect self and hope that someday he forgives me for being "the worst mom ever". Amidst my imperfection, S.J. said, "If you act like that, no one will want to be your kid." I couldn't have said it better myself.
It has made me ever thankful for my wonderful husband who is incredibly swamped with school and work, but takes time to listen to me rant and even comes to my rescue, or the kids rescue, whichever the case may be. He's much more patient than I and incredibly unselfish. I don't know how I make it through these trips without him, but I think it's Heavenly Father's way of helping me appreciate him just a little more.
I've been watching 3 kids every day now since just before school started and I think it's been really good prep. for me, because we found out a couple months ago that I'm expecting our 5th. (Did I just say FIFTH???) I guess that maybe after 3 extras, 1 will seem like cake? Is that even possible? To say that I'm scared would be an understatement, but I am excited, too. I'm not a fan of the preg. part, but I guess it is a means to an end. ALL the kids are hoping for a girl. Isaac told me we have enough boys in our family. I hope he'll be okay when it's a boy.