A Little of This, A Little of That

That's right, folks. I still haven't had Bruno. Spencer got to go with me to the doctor yesterday, which was good, because I think he's just about as crazy I am waiting for this little guy. Apparently when you're at 39 weeks, they no longer give you a choice about whether or not you get checked. So, the grand total is... (drum roll please) I'm at 2-3 cm and 50%. The baby is still really squirmy, so we could have a little while yet, but at least he's still doing well.
We've tried a few things to induce labor. The other night Spencer and I took a jog around our little circle. I'd been having contractions for about 3 hours, so we thought that would help. (In case you were wondering, it didn't.) Tonight, we're going to drive up the canyon with our bikes and I'm going to ride back down. (Just kidding. I think I could probably make it on AFHV if I tried, though.)
Honestly, though, even if he's late, it's fine. Spring Break is the week after next, so if he waited until then, we'd all be home together since Spencer, Jr. has school off and Spencer, Sr. gets a week off work after I have the baby. (Thanks to the Army for that one.)
So, Bruno, there's no rush. When you come, you come and we'll all be thankful.
Really quickly, I have a funny Audrey moment from last night. To start, though, Isaac's favorite movie is Monsters Inc. You could say he's obsessed with it. He has to watch it at least once a day and since Audrey is home with him, she usually ends up watching it, too. Well, last night as we were getting the kids ready for bed, I could hear her in the hall saying, to no one in particular, "Mike Wazouski! Last night was one of the worst nights of my entire life, far none. I thought you cared about me. Soshi, I thought you liked soshi. Soshi, soshi, you think this is all about soshi." I thought I was going to die laughing. I've made her repeat it about 5 times since then. Thanks for kids that make us laugh!

Lesson Learned (I hope!)

So, since my prego blog, I've come to realize a few things. The most important is that it really doesn't matter when I have this baby. I was spoiled with the other 3, because they were all early. Not to say this one won't be, but I'm going to make it if he isn't. (I think!)
The other is that I'm not in charge and just need to be grateful for the health of this little boy and myself. I've had zero complications and, as far as we know, everything is great with our little guy. His heart rate is normal and he seems to be growing well.
While I was at the doctor today, they let me decide if I wanted to be checked or not. If you've had a kid, you know that this isn't exactly a comfortable or pleasant thing, so I opted out. I decided that it doesn't really matter if I'm dialated or not and that I'm going to be happy knowing that, eventually, I'm going to have a baby. Besides that, I'm a pansy and don't like unnecessary pain. If it let me know when the baby would be here, I probably would have been less woosy about it. PROBABLY
So, all that being said, I'm still pregnant and could quite possibly go past March 11, but if that is the case, I'll be grateful that Heavenly Father took care of me, our baby, and helped me remain sane throughout it all.
And, in case you were wondering, I wrote this blog so I can remember this attitude I have at this moment, because I guarantee I'll forget this positive moment I'm having and start complaining again. Possibly as early as tomorrow morning. :)

A Funny

I hope I can remember the details of this well enough for it to be as funny as it was at the moment. Spencer, Audrey, and I were sitting in Spencer's office (it's really our closet with a desk in it. You know, the quietest room in the house.) and Spencer jokingly pushed up on my belly and was worried that it had hurt me. I told him it actually helped relieve some of the pressure, so he said, "You just need a girdle." To which Audrey quickly replied, "No, it's a boy."

Ready to Pop

I'm at that point I get to during pregnancy when I'm feeling ready to have a baby. This, of course, doesn't mean it's going to happen any time soon. It just means I pray extra hard that it will. (Pretty wussy, huh?!) Honestly, though, I think the final weeks of pregnancy are so straining because, when the deed is done, it makes you that much more thankful to hold that baby in your arms. Who cares if you're not getting any sleep. At least you can lay whichever way you want, roll over without the earth shaking, and get out of bed without calling in the National Guard! This sounds a lot like complaining, but in all honesty, I just can't wait to get this little guy out so I can get back to some sense of normalcy. (Even though I'm not really sure what that's going to mean.)
I realize, too, that there are women that have it much worse than I do, and so, I give props to them. More than props, actually. There's a sister in our ward that has diabetes, so she has to drive and hour and a half to the doctor once a week and will have to deliver there. That means she'll have to find someone to watch her other 2 kids while she delivers and hope that everything goes smoothly, so she won't have to leave them overnight somewhere. Her husband is in the Army Band, too, so he travels a lot which could mean she'll be on her own when d-day comes.
Thank Heaven for no complications and all my wussy aches and pains.
On a less complaining note, Audrey is doing better. We can't take her outside because she coughs up a lung every time the fresh air hits her, but other than that, she's doing much better. You'd never know she was sick, actually. I don't know if it's because it's such a normal part of her life, but she doesn't complain and can always find something to do, even when she has to miss out on preschool.
I'm enjoying these final days of 3 kidedness and hope I'm up for the 4 kid challenge. We obviously know it's what Heavenly Father wants, so we're up for the challenge, because we know He'll help us along. I'm also really thankful that Spencer is around for this one. Having him home for the whole month of March will be awesome! His boss has been really great! Thank Heaven for great bosses.

Number 65

Okay so maybe it's more like six or seven but the number of times Audrey has been to the ER or urgent care is climbing rapidly. Last night we added another tick to the ER side of the stats. She woke up at about 1 this morning and was having a coughing attack. This isn't all that unusual (in fact, as I write this, she's having a pretty awful one) but her further symptoms alarmed me. I went in to give her a drink of water to help her throat as this is usually what she requests in such situations. When I tried to give it to her, she seemed delirious and wouldn't make eye contact with me. She'd pause as if to take a drink and then would either swing her head around or just fall back onto her pillow. As I was trying to figure out what was up, I placed my hand on her chest and was taken back by how rapidly her heart was beating. I placed my head on her chest and tried to count her beats per minute but honestly couldn't get an accurate count. After consulting with Jaime and looking online to learn a little more about children's heart rates, I decided we ought to take her in.
I admit I'm a bit of a fretter when it comes to my princess Audrey. Interestingly enough, when it comes to the boys I tend to be a little less compassionate for some reason. Anyway, I'm still glad I took her even though it turned out to be less of an emergency situation than I originally thought. As it turns out, it seems (the Doc didn't sound positive) she has RSV again but her oxygen levels aren't as low as last time (when she spent several days in Utah Valley RMC). The hospital staff administered a breathing treatment including some medication to help open up her airway and also x-rayed her chest which is where the diagnosis came from.
So, chalk up another adventure for Audrey. She's a little angel and was very cute through it all. She kept telling me about the differences between the doctor and nurse and asked me all sorts of questions I couldn't answer about the equipment in the room. We got home around 530 this morning. It was a good time. - SBT

A Crazy Night

What an interesting night. At about 5, I took the kids outside and we all went for a bike ride. (I have an awesome husband that got me a bike for our anniversary present and I LOVE it!!) Everything was just swell until Spencer, Jr. found out he couldn't play with his friends since we were starting our nighttime routine. He made it into the house before anyone else and locked the door so no one could get in. Fortunately, he hadn't realized the front door was unlocked or this could have been a lot more serious than it was.
Just after we all got inside, I got the kids in the bath and was just getting Isaac dressed when I heard Audrey crying and screaming in the bathtub in my room. I went to see what was wrong and walked in to find her mouth bleeding down her chin. I asked her what had happened and she told me she didn't know. (Always a good indicator that she was doing something she shouldn't have been.) I figured she had bumped her mouth while she was splashing around or something, so I got some tissue and tried to clean it up, but it just kept bleeding. The cuts didn't look deep, so I couldn't figure out why it wouldn't stop bleeding. The weirdest part was that it looked as though the blood was coming from the outside of her lip. She had three small cuts on the outside and the bleeding just wouldn't stop. (Did I mention I couldn't get the bleeding to stop?!)
I walked out of the bathroom and called Spencer to see if he had any ideas about how I could get the bleeding to stop and when I walked back in, Spencer, Jr. was standing over the tub being concerned for his little sister. When I asked Audrey again what had happened and she wouldn't tell me, Spencer, Jr. said he thought she had cut herself with my razor. At that point, Audrey confessed.
So, the 6 year old figured it out and Audrey has three cuts just above her upper lip and a Hello Kitty band aid over it, because I still couldn't get the bleeding to stop. We had a little chat about how girls don't shave their faces, or anything else for that matter. She remained surprisingly calm throughout it all and hopefully, she'll never shave her face again. The up side is that she won't pull any hair out when she yanks the bandaid off.

What People Think

You'd think I would have learned this by now but I'm finally figuring out that it really doesn't matter what other people think about me. I had the opportunity to teach Elders Quorum today and really felt the Spirit as the class contributed and made comments that gave me new insight into the things that are most important.
We were covering lesson 23 in the JS manual (we jumped 1 ahead last week so we were getting things straight) talking about Unity. Somehow we started talking about how lots of Brethren get nervous when they're called on to speak in front of a crowd. I know one Brother, who is currently serving as an instructor one week a month, really hesitated before accepting his call due to nerves and feelings of inadequacy. Anyway, it's interesting that this came up because I think it was just what he needed to hear. The comment was made that we're not professional teachers in the Church and we're not all about technique but rather focus on conveying things by the Spirit. Of course we believe in improving teaching skills through teacher development classes but the way we convey an idea isn't nit-picked to the point of making everyone self-conscious about how they say how they feel. After the lesson ended, I continued to think about the principle of not caring so much about what others think of me. I think we have a tendency to assume the worst when it comes to reading facial cues and reading between the lines of non-verbal communication. Maybe the adversary actually uses these as a method to get us to turn against each other before we ever have the chance to be truly unified; all this without any real reason.
This reminds me of the story about the man who ran out of Gas near a farm house. He started walking to the house to ask for some help. As he walked, he started thinking to himself that the farmer has probably had a busy day and wasn't going to be happy about any sort of interruption. He continued walking and went further with convincing himself that the farmer who lived at the house would probably be totally put out that he would even ask for help. For whatever reason, he kept walking but, after his knock at the door was answered and the door swung open, he yelled, "You know what, I didn't want any help anyway".
I think we often get offended when there was never any ill intent. We all know of stories where people leave the Church for years (or forever) because of something someone supposedly said. I'd guess that, in at least most cases, something was at least misinterpreted if not totally fabricated.
It's my hope that I can personally live without any real concern for what others may think (or what I might surmise others are thinking) but can rather focus in on what the Lord 'thinks' of me or how I stand before Him. Even if I'm the least popular person in the world, if I stand on the Lord's side, it won't matter if the crowds are calling for my utter destruction.
I realize this is a strange entry and has nothing to do with Christmas which is just around the corner. Part of the reason is that I didn't write in my journal today and it's therapeutic for me to write about the things floating around upstairs... so, thanks for 'listening'.
- ST